Grieving Pet Loss: Bunny Has Gone
“Bunny has gone”, these are the words my friend Cathy spoke to me over the phone before she broke down into sobbing tears of grief.
Bunny, her Rag doll cat of 16 years had finally been taken to the vet for the last time after suffering a spate of illnesses at the end of his precious life.
Cathy and I had been talking for the previous six months about how Bunny was having difficulty coping with a myriad of medical problems requiring constant medication, occasional overnight stays at the vet’s surgery and many sleepless nights trying to comfort him.
We both knew that this day would come but, as with any death in any family, knowledge of the event does nothing to appeal to the emotions that you will experience. Having been through a similar loss myself two years earlier, it was all too apparent to me that Cathy was about to enter a difficult time.
Cathy and Bunny lived together in a small two-bedroom house in a major capital city about 600 miles from where I live. I wasn't there to help her but I knew she had a strong network of friends that would give her the support she needed.
Grief affects people in so many different ways, and I had to admit that my first reaction was to reflect on my own cat’s disappearance two years earlier. I push that thought from my mind and try to give Cathy some comfort as best I could. In fact, over the next few days we spent a lot of time talking about how she was feeling and it was interesting for me to observe as well is to empathise with her during this time.
We talked about the day she picked Bunny up from the RSPCA, a tiny kitten who had been abandoned by his owner. Cathy reminisced about those early days and how much she was going to miss him around the house. She talked about the way he was demanding every night at the same time for his bold to be filled with food. She remembered his habit of coming through the French doors at about the same time every night, around 9:30 pm, expecting to be allowed onto the sofa for a scratch and a cuddle.
All this reminiscing is part of the grieving process; we do it whenever anyone close to us passes away. Cathy was able to live with her happy thoughts of Bunny because that is what she remembered most. It seemed to me a wonderful reaction and the best way to deal with this potentially tragic event. I had been completely different of course, but then, I suppose the circumstances were different and I was more confused in my grief.
Cathy decided to place a memorial to Bunny on her mantelpiece, a photograph of him wearily opening his eyes after a long sleep. He will take his place in her living room and he will be there forever.
She rescued another kitten from the RSPCA last week, just two weeks after Bunny's passing.
A new life cycle starts, a new pet comes into our lives, and we realise at an even deeper level that the love we share with our precious little friends is more complicated and wonderful than we ever imagined.
